Aura - Silent Night; Holy Night?
Jan 15 18:23:12 2005

A short, stiff breeze blew across the southern field region of
Truce, eliciting a wave of movement amidst the grass from flower
and animal alike. While most of the latter remained dormant,
some asleep at the time of morning it was, and some simply
impervious to anything but their own grazing, a shiny metallic
form lay limp among them, far off in the western reaches of the
fields, huddled up against herself by a small creek.

Aura's eyes were half open, the irises contained therein only a
dull shade of the usually vivid violet hue they normally bore,
but they were unseeing, a blank gaze that stretched far off to
the other side of the grass from where her face had been
positioned. Her short, midnight blue hair, normally clipped
neatly behind her with the aid of a black rose, now fanned
out loosely on all sides of her face, the aforementioned rose
nowhere in sight. The grass around her fallen form, despite
the lack of wind, danced and swayed in avid fashion, as though
several dozen tiny forms were continually dancing, walking, or
just moving in a slow circle around her, though unseen to any
watchers.

Inside, however, it was a complete reversal. Aura's head was
filled with the episodes of past days, past weeks, past months.
Every conversation she had had with anyone during the time
replayed itself within her mind, over and over again, while she
herself lay helplessly in the grass, a vital part of her very
being seemingly torn away from her as easily as it was given.

Seikou... Maverick...

What did I... do?

My whole life... it's...

Goddess.. did you turn.. on me?

Why...? Did I deserve it...?

Unwillingly, she began to tremble, taking on the cold fear that
she had become so used to over the last three years. The fear
of knowing that she didn't belong anywhere, that she was different.

That she was an outcast.

Memories came flooding back in a rush, spanning from the time of
her awakening, to the night just before. She remembered the day
she awoke in Kirono's house, the kind Matango who had taken her
in after finding her just outside the forest he'd lived in,
after a nearby warehouse facility had erupted without warning.
He'd had no information he could offer her, then without any
memory or clue of who she was, why she was, or where she was.
She'd been strong about it, regardless... she had trained to
be able to eventually take care of herself, for the day one
year from then that she eventually left the myconid's house
in search of her own life. All the time after that was a blur,
painful and wrought with naught but remorse.

I couldn't... couldn't save anyone... anyone I befriended...
they were always killed, or left me... like my presence was
a curse... why couldn't I be normal? I would've given...
anything... anything in the world, just to be normal... like
anyone else... would it be better for this world... if I
wasn't here...?

She twitched, remembering the two reploids she had recently
'befriended'... and how much one of them meant to her. It hurt
worst of all.

It was... my fault, wasn't it? Somehow, it's always... my
fault... No matter what I do, people around me... they die,
get hurt...

...

Love isn't supposed to hurt... is it? I've never felt so much
pain... I've... never wanted, asked to be taken from this world
as much... as now... I can't take it... it hurts... my own
request, from the... Goddess... I guess... maybe it's her way
of... punishing me, for being... selfish...

Her eyes closed, a wave of darkness mercifully claiming her
consciousness as she drifted off into sleep, amidst the gentle
hum of a few dozen tiny voices that surrounded her.

I'm... sorry... I... exist...